What good is that baby monitor anyway?

I should probably preface this by disclosing that, due to spendingmuch of my pre dad-life in rock bands, I have a pretty average case of tinnitus (constant ringing in my ears) that I’ve learned to live with. My hearing is OK – it’s a little tough to understand people in crowds and it’s generally known I keep the television up too loud – but the only truly annoying side effect is that certain noises, particularly high pitched noises, sound particularly loud to me. Or maybe it’s just that I notice them more.

Anyway, so when the baby monitor is on and Madame is in bed soundly sleeping, all I can hear is that high pitched radio sound. Usually it’s not that big a deal, but I’ve been tempted to turn it off in the middle of the night when my wife is sleeping and it is driving me to distraction. I haven’t done it but it got me thinking, what am I listening for anyway? She sleeps through the night, so if she stirs or cries for a few moments she always falls back asleep. She’s in her empty crib alone, with no chance of rolling out, and I would hope that anything that happened in the house to be cause for alarm would also wake me up. I’ve been racking my brain to think of things that the monitor could alert me to, and I’ve come up with four:

  1. Ninjas come in through her window at night and steal her. This would be a tough one, as ninjas are notoriously stealthy and would likely be hard to hear on a baby monitor, but a brief scream from my Madame heard over the monitor might wake me.
  2. She decides she’s had enough sleep, stands up in her crib and vaults herself over the side, landing on the floor. This might be one I’ll have to worry about in a year or so, but at five months I’m pretty confident this won’t happen, though she is advanced.
  3. Any electronic toy or device in her room spontaneously turns on and starts making a racket. I don’t see this one happening as I don’t believe in ghosts (I’m thinking about that creepy clown in Poltergeist here), but I guess you never know.
  4. She starts talking in the middle of the night. Now this would be something to blog about. I’m lying in bed trying not to hear the silence over the monitor and my five-month-old says something like “Love you daddy,” or “Fire truck banana robot.” If that happened I sure would be glad I had that monitor on.

Also on MDD - Best Baby Monitor (2-16-07)

Get the Fisher Price "Private Connection" Monitor with Dual Receivers (one for upstairs, one for down) for $38.72 from Amazon via the Modern Day Dad Store.