Your Baby's Not Sleeping, She's Mapping Feedback Loops

There's a great article in National Geographic online that poses the question, "Why Do Babies Twitch in Their Sleep?". Most parents assume (myself included) that it has something to do with dreaming, but new research is showing that it's more about developing a brand-new nervous system.

"...these sleep twitches actually have an indespensible purpose: to teach a newborn what all of its limbs and muscles can do, and how to use them in concert to interact with the big, wide world."

Why Do Babies Twitch in Their Sleep? (Adorable Video Edition) | NationalGeographic.com

The Kind of Creepy Elf on the Shelf

The [Elf on the Shelf][1] didn't exist when we were growing up. As a true-believer I loved Christmas and had absolutely no problem with the idea of a man with a white beard somehow getting into our house once a year and leaving behind presents. But it seems to me (at least from my adult perspective) that the Elf on the Shelf takes Christmas magic and pushes it to its limits.

For those that aren't aware, the Elf on the Shelf is an emissary of Santa that appears in your house during the holidays and watches over your kids. He then goes back to the North Pole every night and reports on whether the children of the house have been naughty or nice. But every morning the little Christmas snitch comes back from making his report, he returns to another location in the house. And it's this random relocation that is both the source of magic and stress in my house.

The magic part is easy to understand. Like Santa's visit, anything that happens in the house without the permission of Mom and Dad is, in its own way, magical. But mostly my kids are excited when they wake up to look for him. It's kind of like a game, and when they find him it is always the first thing they tell me about at breakfast. Some families talk to the Elf and tell him what they want from Santa, and while we don't get that into it the Elf does become another fun way to get excited about Christmas.

Of course, all of that magic doesn't come without its cost. For every five (or so) times my kids wake up wondering where the Elf is, I wake up at least once in a panic wondering if Santa's other helper remembered to put the Elf into a new spot. And on the mornings that the Elf didn't manage to find a new place to roost there is always a lot of explaining to do to my six year old. As my wife said, "It's like the tooth fairy every single night."

Then last year it occurred to my daughter that if the Elf could go anywhere in the house while she was asleep, he could also end up in her room. And the thought of something coming into her room, magical or not, while she was sleeping wasn't cool. In fact she said that waking up with the Elf on the Shelf in her room would be "kind of creepy."

But she didn't want to banish him completely. So for two years now, on the first day he appears, she puts a note on her bedroom door telling him to stay out (this year's version is pictured above). And while she sticks to the rule of not touching the Elf, he also has kept clear of her room.

Then again, all of her anxiety over the Elf on the Shelf could be an elaborate ruse and the sign is just a cover for the really naughty stuff that's going on behind closed doors. I wouldn't put it past her.

Hello Kitty Clock Radio and CD Player - My Daughter’s Review

My seven year-old daughter was needing an alarm clock for her bedside - not because she needs to set an alarm yet, but mostly so she could play CDs and listen to the radio on something that wasn’t a hand-me-down. The Hello Kitty clock radio had all the things we wanted (alarm, CD player and radio) so we decided to try it out and review it for Modern Day Dad.

This is what she thought of it:

The clock radio looks really cool in my bedroom because it’s pink and has Hello Kitty on it. I like that it has a radio and a CD player. The best thing about this alarm clock is that they put all of those things together. The clock is very easy to read (because it’s digital) and sometimes in the middle of the night I think to myself “What time is it?” so I look at the clock. It has an alarm too, but I don’t use it.

I do not like how you change the radio stations. It only has a little dial on the side and it’s hard to use. The CD player is easy to use - you just open it and then press the power button. The sound of the clock radio is good.

I think the people who should buy this are girls who don’t have a radio or an alarm clock and like Hello Kitty.

When given the choice between something that will function reliably and something branded with a cartoon character, most kids will usually pick the thing with the cartoon character on it. (And my kids are certainly no exception.) While the Hello Kitty “am/fm stereo dual alarm clock radio with top loading cd player” is certainly something you buy because it has Hello Kitty on it; for a kid’s clock radio it seems well built and more than reliable.

Hello Kitty Stereo CD Alarm Clock Radio, $69.99 at Sanrio.com (this version isn't up on Amazon.com yet)

Best baby monitor.

WIth the second baby there are a lot of things we are re-using, but some things we had to double-up on, like a new monitor. Creature of habit that I am, at first I wanted one just like the old one, because it seemed to work pretty well at long distances and it operated in the 900 MHz band (between the cordless phones and WiFi the 2.4 GHz band was getting pretty crowded). But the old one wasn't available any more, so I had to settle on the new model, and I'm really glad I did.

There are a couple of enhancements to it, first and foremost being the fact that the receivers are rechargeable. With all the AAAs I was feeding into the old one, this new feature is great. Plus, it's got an LED screen telling how much battery life is left, the signal strength and what channel you're on. It will even beep at you if it isn't receiving any signal at all, or if the battery is dying.

It doesn't rumble like the old one did, but I'll gladly trade that in for a battery that recharges. It's not like I've got a lawn to mow while the baby is sleeping.

Get the Fisher Price "Private Connection" Monitor with Dual Receivers (one for upstairs, one for down) for $38.72 from Amazon via the Modern Day Dad Store.

Sleep.

I've been noticing recently in a few dad blogs (like this entry in More Diapers) there has been some talk of getting the baby to sleep. Not to brag, but we've had Madame sleeping through the night since she was about 8 weeks old. (OK. That was bragging, but I didn't mean it. I swear.) Sure, she's a great baby and I'm sure there's some amount of dumb-luck on our side, but I'm a firm believer that we helped the situation too.

I want to preface this by saying that I'm no expert and obviously whatever works for you is OK. If you want to get up in the middle of the night and wake the baby to change a diaper - I think you're nuts but to each his own. Also, keep in mind that no one actually sleeps through the night. You, me, your dog - we all wake up in the middle of the night and put ourselves back to sleep. The baby needs to learn how to do the same thing. Lastly, I copped most of this from Dr. Michael Cohen's The New Basics - a great book I highly recommend.

OK. Here's how MDD did it.

1. First few weeks do what you have to do. The baby doesn't even know the difference between night and day. Think of it like 9 months worth of jet lag. You just have to suck it up.
2. After a couple of weeks, let the baby cry a little before you rush to pick it up. It might be hard, but don't freak out after every little peep.
3. Once the baby is big enough for the crib (and is out of the bassinet in your room - maybe after a month or two?), put the baby to sleep at night. Once the baby starts crying, let the baby cry for 10 minutes alone before going back. Console and quiet the baby, then if the baby cries again, give it another 10 minutes (from the point when the baby starts crying). Eventually the baby will sleep. If it wakes up in the middle of the night - stick to the 10 minute rule.
4. By now hopefully you've got a baby sleeping through the night. If after 4 months you don't, then drop the 10 minute rule. Put the baby to bed at 7 PM. Say goodnight, close the door and come back at 7AM the next day. No matter what.

There it is. Basically, don't be afraid to let them cry a little. That 10 minute rule worked like a charm for us and honestly I think I've got a happier baby during the day because she's well rested. I'm not crazy about making her nap during the day. If she does (and she usually does) that's great, but if I'm getting a full night's rest I can pretty much handle anything she dishes out during the day.

What good is that baby monitor anyway?

I should probably preface this by disclosing that, due to spendingmuch of my pre dad-life in rock bands, I have a pretty average case of tinnitus (constant ringing in my ears) that I’ve learned to live with. My hearing is OK – it’s a little tough to understand people in crowds and it’s generally known I keep the television up too loud – but the only truly annoying side effect is that certain noises, particularly high pitched noises, sound particularly loud to me. Or maybe it’s just that I notice them more.

Anyway, so when the baby monitor is on and Madame is in bed soundly sleeping, all I can hear is that high pitched radio sound. Usually it’s not that big a deal, but I’ve been tempted to turn it off in the middle of the night when my wife is sleeping and it is driving me to distraction. I haven’t done it but it got me thinking, what am I listening for anyway? She sleeps through the night, so if she stirs or cries for a few moments she always falls back asleep. She’s in her empty crib alone, with no chance of rolling out, and I would hope that anything that happened in the house to be cause for alarm would also wake me up. I’ve been racking my brain to think of things that the monitor could alert me to, and I’ve come up with four:

1. Ninjas come in through her window at night and steal her. This would be a tough one, as ninjas are notoriously stealthy and would likely be hard to hear on a baby monitor, but a brief scream from my Madame heard over the monitor might wake me.
2. She decides she’s had enough sleep, stands up in her crib and vaults herself over the side, landing on the floor. This might be one I’ll have to worry about in a year or so, but at five months I’m pretty confident this won’t happen, though she is advanced.
3. Any electronic toy or device in her room spontaneously turns on and starts making a racket. I don’t see this one happening as I don’t believe in ghosts (I’m thinking about that creepy clown in Poltergeist here), but I guess you never know.
4. She starts talking in the middle of the night. Now this would be something to blog about. I’m lying in bed trying not to hear the silence over the monitor and my five-month-old says something like “Love you daddy,” or “Fire truck banana robot.” If that happened I sure would be glad I had that monitor on.

Also on MDD - Best Baby Monitor (2-16-07)

Get the Fisher Price "Private Connection" Monitor with Dual Receivers (one for upstairs, one for down) for $38.72 from Amazon via the Modern Day Dad Store.