Not "elite." "Leet."

Well, it must be time for television ratings sweeps because all of the local news channels are running stories about how the world is ending. "The deadliest thing in your house may be your kitchen!" "Cat attacks - your pets are in danger!" "Your kids may be getting access to pornography, and we're not talking about the Internet!"

Here's one I actually saw yesterday - "Your kids are speaking a new language online that you need to know about!" A couple of weeks ago Microsoft published online "A parent's primer to computer slang", designed to help parents decipher "leet speak;" abbreviations, anagrams and typos commonly found on the Internet. If you're a parent and you've never seen it before it's probably worth checking out, but the funniest thing I thought was the first (and obviously most important) word under the section "Leet words of concern or indicating possible illegal activity."

"warez" or "w4r3z": Illegally copied software available for download."

Never mind your kids downloading porn, just make sure they're not pirating copies of Microsoft Office..

//d3rn d4y d4d r3wlz.